Oh, those poor unsuspecting people.....

In true Blue Monkey Butt* fashion , it's time once again to list some of the google searches people do that bring them to my blog, those of whom are trying to find the answers to some of life's most important inquiries.....oh, those poor unsuspecting people.

* You MUST read this blog....I promise you won't be disappointed. But make sure you're close to a bathroom because you'll probably end up peeing in your pants from laughing....okay, well maybe that's just me....

1) lord i'm alone find me a husband and give me a set of twins: Well, see...that's your problem. You have no manners! You don't demand stuff from God...everyone knows that. However, if you turn that demand into a request and add "pretty please" to it, He may even throw in a house with a white picket fence and a basset hound.

2) sometimes your living: And sometime's you're not. It's really pretty simple. End of discussion. (BTW, it's YOU'RE, not YOUR)

3) i wish someone would hold me: So let me get this straight....you thought putting this statement out into the world wide web would find you a hot date? Whatever happened to "my roommate's boyfriend's cousin's best friend has an uncle who'd be perfect for you".....blind dates are so old school, I suppose.

4) pictures of women in bikini after "two sets of twins": Did you find one here? I certainly hope not. Playboy promised they would never publicize those pictures of me.

5) I feel like I'm never going to get through this year with the twins: Well, I apologize that Google sent you here to my blog when you were just looking for some encouragement and support. I guess they thought misery loves company.

6) as a parent i understand i need to be nice to my kids: Well, there is an alternative....does the name Joan Crawford ring a bell?

7) How to raise children so they won't need therapy: Excuse me for a minute so I can wipe off the grape juice that I just spit all over my computer screen while laughing my ass off.........okay, that's better. Now let me apologize that somehow you ended up on my blog thinking you'd find the answer to that question. OMG, here I go again....I can't stop laughing about this. Okay....okay....okay.....I'm calm now. Please promise me you'll come back here, though, and enlighten me when you find the answer to that intriguing question.

8) my man annoys me but excites me too - This was one of my biggest complaints about my 1st husband.....and we all know how that ended. My advice to you.....run away.....fast.....very very fast.

9) how to poop on the floor: I'll send my kids right over to show you....they're experts.

10) wellbutrin blah: Uh, no....wellbutrin, yum. Mr Cruise, are you being glib again?

11) it sucks to have no money: I'll agree with you on that. However, you might have better luck if you actually did a google search for "is McDonald's hiring?"

12) humorous reasons to have kids: I'm so flattered....Octo-mom has found my blog.

13) The Worst Mother in the World: Well, it's nice to meet you....I'm The Most Horrible Mother in the World. Maybe we should write a book together.

14) ask bossy infertile: Wow, this certainly is an unexpected honor....perhaps I should start a regular blog series with that title.

15) brother's nipples: I'm not sure how you stumbled upon my blog with that google search but I think you need therapy.

16) stories from women who took clomid and had multiples: Well, here's one for ya.....from the beginning....




















....THE END.